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Music is a great thing. Sometimes you listen to a particular song over and over again until it fades away from the music chart. Then, one day, you find yourself surprised by a storm of mixed feelings when you accidentally listen to that song. A strange yet familiar feeling you have ever had suddenly pop out of the blue; make you stop your work for a while, make you close your eyes, and bring you a nostalgic feeling.
I take it as music is a memory box. It traps memory that happening surround us while we consciously or unconsciously listen to it. It is unfortunate that some of the musics I’ve ever heard bring back sad memories that I don’t want to listen to them anymore though they are beautiful. But, it is quite a bliss to recall a wonderful memory trapped in a song. To be surrounded by joyous feelings of the summer scent in high school, to be seeing hundreds of yellow butterflies blown by a warm breeze from red flowers that grow in the front yard, to be feeling the damp, cold rain while watching the trees running outside the bus window.
Sadly, we cannot count on human memories. Someday, I may remember the beautiful memories that I’ve ever had. But I am afraid to forget how and what I actually feel. There are memories that one is afraid of losing as she tries to remember every detail of it desperately while she keeps on making memories in every next second. She’s afraid that it will remain as a feeling-less memory, that it will remain as a mere name that sounds like a fairy tale, as if it never happens. She is afraid of knowing that it is there, but feeling nothing when remembers it.
For this very reason, for the last few weeks, I imbue this feeling of affections to the most beautiful piano music I’ve ever heard. I try to save the memories I have this past few months to a music piece. I listen to this music over and over again for hours while I’m thinking about the blissful moments that I have recently. This song is a compilation of back sounds from a Makoto Shinkai masterpiece, Garden of Words (Kotonoha no Niwa). A film telling about a meeting of two lovers in the midst of rain. I try to infuse it there. 🙂
So that someday, when I want to look back, when my brain is no longer able to remember ‘the feeling’ that I have because of senility, a piece of piano play will help me to feel. Who cares about detail when we can feel the entire memory?
Do you want to listen to this ‘feeling’ with me? Click here